Desperately Seeking!

How are you?

I'm a very happy girl! Yesterday I finally found something I'd been desperately searching for, for WEEKS!

I don't know if you have ever experienced this before...?

Rewind about 3 weeks ago...

I'd been in my favourite Daily Retreat coffee shop for my usual 'medium skinny, extra hot, wet Cappa, without sprinkles' aka Cappuccino (yum) …and a song came on that completely grabbed my attention.

It absolutely stopped me in my tracks. I was mesmerised! I loved the man's uplifting voice... the guitar strumming... the whole feel and rhythm of the song was wonderful! I could barely make out the lyrics except for one distinct line "Let The River Flow, Deep In To The Ocean"

I didn't really hear the song until it was in the Chorus …and amid all the chaos and noise (it is incredibly noisy in an echo-ey Costa Coffee full of glass and very high ceilings... milk steamers going, clattering plates and children with their parents chattering... some screeching…!!!

So there I was. I had this one line playing in my head on repeat: 'Let the river flow... deep into the ocean..' that is all I could remember…. Oh no…. It's so hard to have a one liner playing in my mind. Have you ever experienced anything so dementing…

It was playing in my mind all day.... in bed at night... "let the river flow… deep in to the ocean…"

I googled A Lot trying to find what this song was called and who sang it...

I would go into Costa for my coffee brimming with hope that The Song would be played that day…nope…. I'd leave disappointed again and again.

Then one day, it came on again out of the blue (they have a massive repertoire of songs so it isn't played often!) and I strained to hear - above the din - it was so busy that day.

No luck... google insisted the only person I needed to know about was Carly Simon... and I love her song too - it's wonderful… but... it wasn't THE Song that I knew I desperately needed in my Life!

I downloaded an App which promised to find any song we don't know the title to... and I was so READY!!!

The next time that song came on, I was DETERMINED to identify it and then ask Alexa (such an obliging part of my family) to play it on repeat - till my heart was content! I had plans to memorise the words and sing in my echoey kitchen until I figured out what this song was expressing for me.

Each day, I went in to Costa, hopefully, listening intently for the song, whilst reading... (and keeping my finger on the App that would put an end to my misery) whilst sketching... whilst replying to emails... (finger was so poised over that button…!) I kept my ears wide open...

Only once did it come on! Once was surely enough to track this song down!?

So far, all I had managed to do was record a part of the song on my phone - (laughing...) the only part audible was 'Let The River Flow, Deep In To The Ocean'!   Obvs!!!

I needed MORE of that song, not just that one line. That line was driving me wild playing on repeat in my head.

So there I was… the song playing…. My newly Installed App which promised to detect ANY song, went into action. I felt so smug and confident thinking the answer was just moments away.... but with all the background noise of clattering plates, milk steamers and kids shouting, the App was totally baffled and couldn't find a rhythm to follow. It shrugged at me as if to say "it's impossible!"

I wanted to stand up and shout - "Shush everyone…just for a moment… pleeeease!!

...I gave in to the fact that my one line of song would continue to dement me for a while longer :-D but there is something about me…. I have a "wont be beaten" attitude and I was Determined!!!

So… Yesterday... I went for my coffee as usual, and met with a friend. We were in a very, very deep conversation about Family Systems and I had completely forgotten about finding the title to my new favourite song.

Suddenly, the song came on...! omg....

In a flash, I skidded to a halt and said to my friend... 'I'm so sorry... I need to ask what this song is called!!!' and dashed off to the counter.  Luckily my friend knows and understands my impulsive, spontaneous behaviour!

I asked the Barista do you know what this song is called please? Can you check? I must have looked wild with eyeballs out on springs!

Luckily, they can see the name of the song and the singer as it flashes digitally round in a loop during the song that is playing... the Barista, very kindly responded to my "I NEED To know what this song is called NOW!!!" expression, shot off to the kitchen very obligingly, and about a minute later came back with it written down for me.

I was thrilled! I felt like she had handed me a winning lottery ticket!  I could have hugged her but.. there is a pandemic!

When I said goodbye to my friend, I put the song on You Tube and listened in the car... and listened again.... and again....

I went in to get spring onions, tomatoes and mango and had it playing in my bag... happily dancing around the aisles. I WAS SO HAPPY!!! My heart was sped up and fluttery with total Joy!

The words are so meaningful for me right now... especially "I dare you to dig a little deeper…"

I love this song So much, it it incredibly uplifting for me and Says Everything for me at the moment.

My friend later messaged to say she had been listening to it too and loved it also! She even sent me the lyrics!! What a lovely kind friend.

Do you ever listen to songs which totally speak to you and for you? This happens to me all the time.. I love music and singing and dancing in the kitchen (alone). I don't want to traumatise anyone!! My singing and dancing isn't great but it makes me soooo happy! I have lots of brill songs I listen to and dance and sing to in my kitchen most days.

A few weeks ago it was 'Ooga Chuka - Hooked On A Feeling' by Blue Swede and I am still playing that one whilst dancing in the kitchen too.

Oh and 'The Party' by the Strumbellas. Wonderful amazing songs... I love music so much... do you have a Soundtrack to your life?

Alexa, our vitally important family member and virtual assistant, has obligingly played my latest song on repeat for me for hours! I can't sing it enough... It is most definitely expressing something deep for me.

And… I can't tell you what a relief it is to have more than "let the river flow deep into the ocean!" :-D

In case you would like to listen to the song which has totally grabbed me, it is called Solitary Drifter by April Moon featuring Michael Jaffe. You may have noticed… I Love It!

Well... I am off into my newly tidied up Studio to film the final part of my latest course I am making for LifeBook 2022.  I am absolutely loving this whole process, it's been deeply meaningful and now I am almost finished, I am clinging on tightly as I don't want it to come to an end!

How are you today and what are you up to?

Just in case you would like to join my online community Awaken, Heal & Transform, where you can connect with me, share your art, your process, your feelings, emotions... and favourite songs…

here is the link: https//www.facebook.com/groups/489994494753593/

Take good care of you!
love

Kassi